We know we should really be posting a blog about Self-Assessment and how the deadline is 31st January and if you miss it, you’ll face the wrath of the taxman, but you know what, we don’t want to! Partly because we really, really hope all our clients are already on top of their Self-Assessment returns and partly because it’s Christmas and we’d much rather have a bit of fun instead.
So, here are some great accountancy jokes, or rather ones that are just slightly better than those you’ll find in this year’s Christmas crackers.
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- How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
The Net Present Value
- How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
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- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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- How do you know when an accountant’s having a mid-life crisis?
They get a faster calculator.
- How do you know when an accountant’s having a mid-life crisis?
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- What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
Lost
- What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
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- What is the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after them
- What is the definition of a good tax accountant?
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- Why does Santa like visiting the UK?
He can claim Gift Relief
- Why does Santa like visiting the UK?
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- How is Christmas dinner different after Brexit?
No Brussels
- How is Christmas dinner different after Brexit?
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- Where do elves hedge their bets?
On the stocking exchange
- Where do elves hedge their bets?
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- What is the employment status of Santa’s helpers?
Elf-employed
- What is the employment status of Santa’s helpers?
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- What is an accountant’s favourite thing about holidays?
There is less traffic on the way to work
- What is an accountant’s favourite thing about holidays?
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- What is the difference between a lawyer and an accountant?
The accountant is aware they are dull and boring.
- What is the difference between a lawyer and an accountant?
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- What’s an accountant’s favourite motto?
Be audit you can be
- What’s an accountant’s favourite motto?
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- There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business.
1. Don’t tell them everything you know
2. [Redacted]
- There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business.
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- How many accountants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
How many did it take last year?
- How many accountants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
“Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”
Well, they made us chuckle! We wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and all the best for 2023.